At first, I looked for you everywhere like a scavenger hunt that I was dealt the bad hand in, the impossible. I smelled you in the hallway on my way to calculus and closed my eyes to picture you picking me up after school, Dunkin Donuts iced coffee in the front cupholder as usual. I wondered when it was that I knew or my mind or maybe even my subconscious, was it when you swerved into the next lane with just a little too much ambivalence to be careless or when you yelled at me, called me selfish? Sometimes I long only to see you again, we don't have to touch. I only want to dip my toes in the ocean of your eyes and see if I can detect the direction of the wind.