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Because I love you
Maybe I misunderstood
Maybe I miscommunicated
Maybe it is my fault
Because you haven't forgiven me
You won't forgive me
And I know that it hurts
trust me I feel a lot of pain too
a lot of hurt
And even though our hurt is different
and it manifests from different places
deep down inside
I feel it
I feel all the pain
Because for you
the hurt comes from
only a few places
But for me
the hurt comes from all around
and worse than that
It also comes from deep down inside
But Im not allowed to hurt
because you are hurt
I don't understand
I thought honesty was always the best policy
I thought I could tell you anything
I thought you'd always be there for me
and that you would help me when I'm hurt
But that was a lie
I took on my consequences
I am baring my cross
but you still condemn me
and you still
refuse to forgive me
I have forgiven myself
I no longer walk in brokenness
But instead I ignore it all
so that I can walk in redemption
I ignore your looks that you give me
telling me that I'm damaged
I ignore the words you say
telling me how I am no longer
your little girl
I let it all fly past
why?
Because I love you
Because I know I messed up
and I know that I hurt you
and I hurt others too
But I am trying to fix it
However
I can't fix us
or our relationship
if you put up this wall of condemnation
and shame
built of stones
called worry and pain
I will continue to try
and I will still love you
and I will forgive you
anyway
and no matter what
no matter the pain you feel
or the hatred you give off
I will be here for you
and whatever it is you need
I will help you
Because
I love you.