I was never
loved
here
never cherished
never spoken to
I was the chair
in the corner
of the cell,
the animal
that didn’t
deserve
a bed

I was never
taught to laugh
I was never
taught to live
I never
learned to love

He says
he is
my father
He says
I am a waste
of air
of life
of everything
He says
I should be
grateful
but I’m not
I used to
try
to escape
I used to
try
to understand
But my voice
was rusted
like nails
left in
the rain
And his fists
responded
in silence

I am alone
in this darkness
a swinging light
my only refuge
from the
shadows
that taunt
me
again
and again

Yet I have
a secret
even he
doesn't know

I remember
the cold
rainy day
he became
my “father”
I remember the pretty woman
I called mother
I remember
he took me
away

He thinks
I have
forgotten
He thinks
I was too
young
but I wonder
if I had
a mirror

Would I look like her?

Yet secrets
remain
secrets

No one
will ever
know
for I am
alone
in this
darkness
and no one
would ever
understand
my broken
words.