The pain keeps spreading
I’m afraid that eventually it will overcome my wellbeing.
It’s only been five days since his death and it feels like I could just quit at any moment
It’s getting harder and harder to cope with the fact that he’s gone
I try to believe that he’s just out of town
That’s he’ll be back
But I know deep down inside that’s a lie.
I can’t forget what I saw that day
That’s not how it works.
I can’t believe that one second we were walking down the sidewalk
Laughter filling the air
Then the next there was blood dripping from his chest
The sound of shoes against the pavement filling the air
Me leaning over him trying to stop the bleeding.
I remember everything so clearly
Even though I wish I didn’t.
I tried everything I could to keep him awake while we waited on the ambulance
I cradled him in my arms
Swayed back and forth and sang Counting Stars by One Republic to him
He used to sing that to me over the phone when I couldn’t fall asleep
We made it our song.
But now, I guess, it’ll have to be my way of remembering him.