I believed in the comforting sting of cold steel
I believed in a love full of self-manufactured pain
When the scars on her arms became clear
And the butterflies on her wrists
Drawn in sharpie
Stopped working
I believed in death
In its eminent inevitability
When her sleeves covered her arms in summer's heat
When she whispered in my ear
“I know how I'd do it”
When she looked at me and said
“By the time they found me it'd be too late”
And she cut
Baby what's wrong?
Cut
Why are you doing this?
Cut
Let me help.
Cut
Stop it!
Cut
Please!
Cut
GOD!
I believed in loneliness
Feeling alone and broken even with my heart in her hands
Sucking me dry like a leech
Silver teeth digging in to my soul
Draining me of every last drop of blood
I believed in pain
I believed in tears over the phone on a rainy night
“I only told them cause I love you!
“I only want to help”
Swallowing defeat I realized
No matter what I did
No matter who I ran to
Or how hard I tried
I couldn't save her
And I was the one hurting
I stopped asking to help
I believed in a ghost who didn't believe in herself
When the long talks grew short
When the girl I loved stop loving me back
I cried to my pillow at night
When her stomach bore my name in crimson letters I swore to never harm myself
When my heart was shattered at the lips of another woman…
I believed in the fact that nothing in life would ever make me smile again
She was dead
And she left me broken
Drained
I believed in nothing
But a friend believed in me
An angel who listened
And she saved me
When the succubus had isolated me
Cut me off from the world and from life
I believed in a friend who pulled me up and taught me to look for the light
Love the little moments
Live in the now
Don't worry about tomorrow and what might go wrong
Forget about the past and the pain it carried
Forget about the scars on your arms and your heart
Everything will heal with time
Let it go
Stop opening old wounds
The pain will leave
Only the scars will stay
I believed that nothing would change
But my angel believed that it would
And my angel believed I would heal
And when I finally learned to smile again
When I finally learned how to be whole
I could finally say this:
I believe in hope
I believe that no matter how dark life seems to be
No matter how hopeless it feels
No matter how much pain you are in
There is always an angel
And there is always hope
And to that girl who broke my heart and scarred my arms
I believe there's hope for you too