With our almost 18 year age difference
I'm not sure how often we will get to see one another,
But it's important that I tell you these things
Because your big sister knows what she's talking about.
The first things you should learn is that mom is always right,
Even when she's wrong, she's still right.
When you start driving make sure you practice with her,
And never mention anything about boys to dad.

The sizing in Starbucks is different,
It goes Tall, Grande, and Venti,
And to have teeth as white a mine
You’re going to have to brush them
For more than the two minutes,
I would say somewhere closer to five.

There’s no easy way to put this,
Some boys are stupid. Simple as that.
So although you might think he's your Romeo,
You might not be his Juliet.
But just because you’re single,
Doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

Whenever you're sad listen to Ed Sheeran.
I guarantee this is the best thing to do.
Whenever you’re tired don't drink energy drinks
And don't believe everything people tell you
Because guess what?
Carrots don't improve your vision.

Blink 182, Nirvana, and The 1975 will always be the best bands,
Classic novels are not boring so make sure you actually read them,
And don't waste your time with Nicholas Sparks’s novels.

Finally, you should know that love has no boundaries,
You should never be basic,
And life doesn't come with written instructions.

But the two most important things
You should learn from me are to
Stay close to what makes you happy
And never ever fall in love with a boy band.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.