I try not to swallow my teeth
every time the words
dancing in the back of my throat
have the audacity
to make themselves known
to come alive
spilling at
the curl of my lip
an army of thoughts
the ones formulated in my mind
that were out to get me
are nothing more than
pieces of a parallel universe
that hides in my kidney

little soldiers
holding weapons
only those guns
those guns were pencils
a weapon
in of itself
tracing the lines of my palm
telling their story
creating new ones

I try not to swallow my teeth
each time a new opportunity
meets me in the darkness
of an alley
nose to nose
breathing heavily
demanding its presence
to be acknowledged
glowing spheres with
small splashes of black ink
not letting me slip by
unnoticed
invisible
any longer
this time
I have to face him
but how was I to know
that he disguised himself
as a criminal
with menacing eyes
that could pierce
from a mile away
just to see
who would have the spine
to grab him by the neck
seize him
beat him
earn the title
he so badly wanted to give away

"I am the conqueror
of opportunity!"

I try not to swallow my teeth
when my shadow crosses another
I fear it blends who I am
mixes it into the pool of humanity
diminishes my individuality
throwing it into the barren recipe
of the world
two parts pepper
three parts salt
no parts sugar
I still have no desire
to be part of it
but now I know
that all the shadows
of earths pawns
together
make the mighty queen
sitting on her throne
her sentences riddle my ears
she is unbreakable
invincible
but a pawn
one lonely pawn
can bring her to her knees
that is why
we cannot get it together
we can never puzzle our shadows
to form something
bigger
better
all of us
or none of us
it is only with those
arms length around me
I can make something
we can make something
we will settle
for a castle
maybe a knight
no parts pepper
no parts salt
all parts sugar
you will too

I try not to swallow my teeth
when I betray myself
with the weaknesses behind
my features
of boys
of girls
of men
of women
of me
but what can they do to me?
I ask myself
No
I tell myself
they can do nothing to me
their words are not
the crystal clear diamonds
with edges sharp enough
to cut stone
their actions are nothing
nothing at all
there is nothing riding on them
not my feelings
not my self worth
not the courage
I've been saving up
to spill my words on paper
I've been getting better
I think
but better
is not always good enough

I try not to swallow my teeth
when I realize
I'm the girl
with the words dancing
in the back of her throat
the one who wrestles opportunity
in dark alleys
whos shadow is part of something bigger
but not quite big enough
who has alot to work on

the one who has to try
not to choke on
the pieces of bone
that scrape against each other
in her mouth
every time
something passes her by