I am NOT a body, a nothing a no body! I am sick.
Sick to my heart to think that not too long ago I wanted to die, tried to die and not just for an hour and not just because of you. You, appearing great but you have ugly regret, passion, soul, it’s like I’m looking in a mirror.


Loving myself and loving you is hard to do when you’re so much of what I try to hide. Hiding you away and loving what I hate, what I am.

It’s difficult to form words around why I can’t love you if I respect myself, but I still do. If you’re done with love than I am too, because I can count all my heart breaks and still never give up on you. What ever you want I want it too.

No, stop, please. Just think about it. Things change and things work out. You can’t be a failure if you quit but you can’t succeed either. I’m not in love with the most successful failure; I’m not in love with you.

You say I’m hard to forget and yet you’ve done it again, they all forgot or wanted to. I’m always scared, always afraid , always TERRIFIED. I lied when I told you the hardest thing I’ve done. Showing a mother some blood dripping from your wrist and making an empty promise is easy compared to this. The hardest thing I’ve done is you. The hardest thing I’ve done is you.

I have some questions for the enlightened man you say you are. Do you think I need to be medicated? Is it normal to be so happy you want to drag red blood from the veins of anyone? Did you hit her? Did you f*** her? Did you call her names? I DEMAND EQUAL TREATMENT I DEMAND YOU TELL ME WE'RE THE NOT THE SAME. Two years I’ve been after you and one night was all it took to drive you away again. My mouth has gotten me into a lot of sticky situations, my words have gotten me nowhere, my words are taking me nowhere. Go ahead and give up on me, but don't give up on love. You do it so well I almost believed it would last.

You won’t be hearing from me again.