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Tantalize
March 5, 2013
I lay my head gently up on the plush pillow
Thoughts swarm my lorn mind
I raise my head nimbly from the sunken pillow
For i fear my thoughts disappear
I hold my pen cold on to the crinkled paper
To free my thoughts
But oh stalled am i!!!
© Franziska K., Milford, CT
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This article has 11 comments.
Phoenix. said...
on Feb. 15 2014 at 4:12 am
This reminds me of some of the nights when your head is just flooded with writers block. :P
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER said...
on Jul. 1 2013 at 1:53 am
This is nice. Very good work
compassion GOLD said...
on May. 24 2013 at 2:13 am
Thats sounds very nice! Thank you so much for the thought!
LiraDaeris PLATINUM said...
on May. 23 2013 at 4:29 pm
I think the pillow should be warm. Clashing that with the cold paper could add a nice icing flower to this decadent cake of a poem. Good job :D
compassion GOLD said...
on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:31 am
its ok no problem :) thanks for the review
Just-Another-Girl GOLD said...
on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:28 am
Firstly, i like the context in which you are trying ti explain, its very relatable so those who read it will under stand what you mean. However iI feel the adjectives used do not fit and you read head an pillow twice in one sentence. It takes the whole magical aspect away from the poem, sorry for such negativity on such a beautiful poem. Good luck making it even better. All the best. Courtney
compassion GOLD said...
on Mar. 16 2013 at 6:04 am
Thank you so much for your beautiful review. I am happy to know that you can connect :)
theforgotenone GOLD said...
on Mar. 15 2013 at 9:09 am
i can really see allot of emotion from such little words i like that and i know how that feels
simmi said...
on Mar. 15 2013 at 7:46 am
its gud
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments
Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.