Come back inside!

She shouted,

As I rushed out,


the front door swinging on its hinges, as I jerked it open.



You here me! You come back, right now!

I was running now, feet slapping against the soaked pavements, drenching my pants with sloshing puddles.




Her shouts muffled as I disappeared into the rain,



the commands blending in the wind, wisping through the fog


I scowled, picturing the grown woman standing there, in the doorway,

her hands holding her head as she cried, wet


tears streaking her made-up face,


telling herself lies to keep her sane.

Help me understand! She would shriek, why are you doing this? I didn’t know,


What I was doing,



Why I did it.

I just knew, one more minute with this helpless woman,


Would bruise me more than the strikes of my




last boyfriend.

Her wretched life, the stories of her adolescence, not that they were that long ago,

16 and pregnant left her with no one but me. A screaming baby,


with more tears than even her.


I was so angry I couldn’t feel the shivers, or the freezing rain scratching at my face,


leaving long red lines on my cheekbones.




My mother was all that I had left, but that day,

my hate finally stole


the last bit of optimism

I had left. Leaving me blackened.

I only came back home to grab my bag and the money




I had rolled up under my socks,


As I walked down the carpeted stairs I saw my mother, long past out, her body crumpled on the couch, arms limp, hanging to the side. The liquor cabinet had washed her sadness away hours ago and I finally knew what I had to do.


I ran away.