10
Ten is double digits
Is noticing what that girl is wearing and
Those boys are cute
Of noticing weight and how you’re not skinny
Which is true but you’re not fat either
Is making friends you know are going
To be yours forever
And realizing that they aren’t
Ten is
Transition
Ten is
A beginning

11
Eleven is boring
Is old and young and stuck in
A person you don’t know yet
Is the end of childhood and the knowledge that
Next year your best friend is moving
And you think you have no one else
And writing is a nerd thing
And who are you?
Eleven is
Confusion
Eleven is
Forever


12
Twelve is starting new
New school new friends and new
Places and responsibilities
Is going to the mall with your friends
And not having your mother behind you
And feeling new and old and young at the same time
Is realizing that you’re really
The only white girl in your neighborhood
The only new family
Twelve is
Awakening
Twelve is
Naiveté



13
Thirteen is sleepless nights staying up
Just because you can
And whining in the morning when your father
Fills the warm dark of tiny rooms
To wake you and in the winter
Cold feet and no coat
Because your mother told you to wear one
And Dunkin
Donuts stops on the way home
While technically you’re
Grounded, but that’s really just guidelines
Thirteen is
Grown up
Thirteen is
So young

14
Fourteen is football games
Because you’re in high school now,
Practically an adult, and boys
Or no boys, even worse
Of your first and only boyfriend
Who couldn’t kiss and dumped you
On the phone while you cried and
It’s real friends
Who are probably going to college next year
Fourteen is
The center of everything
Fourteen is
Alone

15
Fifteen is reconciliation
Of being friends with your parents
Wearing what you want even though
Standing on the scale hurts and curves
Are not pretty but you
Can still wear a dress if you want because
People who care don’t matter
And all that
Fifteen is exposure and understanding
And fierce fights with that boy that dumped your
Best friend
Fifteen is
Acceptance
Fifteen is
Unacceptable

16
Sixteen is
New
Sixteen is
Happy birthday