Scared
I hade no idea
What to say

When I told the news
What would she say?
What would the person,
I looked up to the most
Say to me?

Feeling lonely
Even with her,
Myself,
And music

Opening and closing my mouth
Just like a fish
Striving for food

I kept gaining courage
Only to lose it all
At a moment’s notice

A guessing game
We played.
With her trying to
Figure out
The news

Sweaty palms
Wiped off
On black denim skinnies

A heartbeat so fast
I was sure she could hear it
Hear it above the loud music

A gush of air in
One out as well
Trying to calm
My rattling nerves

Maybe I’ll blow up
My only thought
When my body began to
Blaze in heat

Looking straight at the flashing
White lines
On cool gray

I was scared
Worried
That nothing would go
Right

Another gush of air
In than out
My mouth gapping open
Willing myself to speak

“mom”
I began
”I like girls,
Not boys”

There
It was out
I was out

Quiet
Nothing but music
And sounds of cars

I was scared
Again
What was her answer?

“I thought so”
Giggles
The only noise from me

I wasn’t scared,
Nor happy
I was overjoyed