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If You Really Knew Me
If you really knew me,
You would know my dad is a recovering alcoholic and drug attic;
You would know I don’t really fit in with people unless I act to fit the part.
If you really knew me,
You would know I am extremely self conscious and insecure with everything about me;
You would know I don’t want your sympathy.
If you really knew me,
You would know I’m on anti-depressants from the scars on my arms;
You would know even with my meds, things still hit me hard and I still get my urges.
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If you really knew me,
You would know that I’m scared sh*tless about high school;
You would know I have no idea how I’m suppose to survive the first day without my friends.
If you really knew me,
You would know that I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night because my dad is no longer sober;
You would know I pray every night, even though I’m not sure if I believe in my dad or Him.
If you really knew me,
You would know I can go cry in a room and walk out, five minutes later, with a smile on my face and be ‘fine’;
You would know my favorite quote is: “When she cries the make-up runs from her eyes and it spills the truth about how she feels inside”.
If you really knew me,
You would know I can be happy one second and be breaking down the next;
You would know I love my friends and family more than they know.
If you really knew me,
You would know I try my hardest to be happy and good for my family and friends;
And you would know, sometimes that’s just not good enough.
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