i gave you my heart
you held onto it
you clutched it
close to your chest
like your secret prayer book
your bible
i want to be
your everything
all you ever thought about
the only thing on your mind
all the time
there you are
standing before me
my pumper in your hands
you caress it
with those gentle fingers of yours
a tear slides down my cheek
as my eyes fill with more
i watch
as your lips part
and your godly breath fogs up
the smokeless air of the night
i am silent
my bare feet on the cold pavement
the stars
bright and glittering above
i look into your haunted eyes
and i see pain
the same pain reflected in mine
i tremble in the still night
but never once
did i pass away
trampling waves
off in the distance
fierce winds overhead
blowing my thoughts around
then i wake up
it was all a dream
an illusion
those thoughts
are too hazardous
to be real
the guilt clings to me
like burrs
i have learned a lot
i doubt most of it
and question the rest