I lose a breath... | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Free Verse
  4. I lose a breath...

I lose a breath...

April 22, 2010
By Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
More by this author
Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
15 articles 9 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Hello Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o,&quot; -friends<br /> &quot;Stop saying that!! My name ain&#039;t Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o!!&quot; -Me<br /> &quot;Okay, fine, Hello Cat.&quot;-friends<br /> (GRRRRR)<br /> ----Also----<br /> &quot;You a turtle on steroids!&quot;-friends<br /> &quot;Hahaha, I know&quot; -ME

View profile

I lose a breath,
A minute of my life
When I see your eyes,
Come upon mine.
They always seem warm,
Even when sadness is in your emotions
However, I seem not to care
Your love is the only motion.
I love to feel my chest pump violently
Even though I know, half of it is yours,
Even though I see
You are on your own.
This saddens me deeply
With no doubt,
Nevertheless, I shall wait
Until you shall noticed,
I am your heart.
Moreover, we will be together.

© Wajida S., Shrewsbury, MA

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
Doll House Living
By sgrace SILVER
West Chester, Pennsylvania
sgrace SILVER, West Chester, Pennsylvania
5 articles 22 photos 18 comments
View profile
Poetry
I want a guy...
By grlgotgame BRONZE
Chillicothe, Ohio
grlgotgame BRONZE, Chillicothe, Ohio
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Girls with butts like mine, don&#039;t talk to boys with faces like yours.&quot;

View profile
Poetry
Secret Crush
By C.J.H. BRONZE
Benciao City, Taipei County, Other
C.J.H. BRONZE, Benciao City, Taipei County, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Sometimes the world tries ot knock it out of you. But I believe in music the way that some people believe in fairy tales.&quot; August Rush(2007)

View profile
Poetry
Arrival of Storm
By Anonymous
Poetry
unnamed
By Mew13 SILVER
Princeton, New Jersey
Mew13 SILVER, Princeton, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surly vote for the purr.&quot;<br /> (Barbara L. Diamond)

View profile
Poetry
A World of Problems
By Lost-In-Life GOLD
Whitby, Other
Lost-In-Life GOLD, Whitby, Other
11 articles 0 photos 299 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s never to late, if it weren&#039;t for the last minute many things would never get done!

View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.

Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 6:52 pm
Caitlyn_ilovesoftball GOLD, Douds, Iowa
15 articles 9 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Hello Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o,&quot; -friends<br /> &quot;Stop saying that!! My name ain&#039;t Cat-i-lynn Mill-ard-o!!&quot; -Me<br /> &quot;Okay, fine, Hello Cat.&quot;-friends<br /> (GRRRRR)<br /> ----Also----<br /> &quot;You a turtle on steroids!&quot;-friends<br /> &quot;Hahaha, I know&quot; -ME

View profile
okay, I'll work on it some more.  thanks.  I love to get critism.  It makes my writing stronger, an me as a person.
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 4:53 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments
View profile

This is very nice... I especially liked the lines "I love to feel my chest pump violently/even though I know, half of it is yours"

some advice: change the line "However, I seem not to care". It just doesn't seem to fit, especially because it is told from first person

--LoveHappens-- said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 2:29 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 342 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway&quot;

View profile
Aww this sis soooo I love it... It makes me smile when i read it and the word choice it great. Keep it up