Then & Now | Teen Ink

Then & Now

March 28, 2010
By letsmakehistory GOLD, Fishers, Indiana
letsmakehistory GOLD, Fishers, Indiana
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

What happened to us?

We used to be so close
Almost one person,
In our thoughts and in our ideas

Now we can barely have a conversation
Without screaming and yelling and forcing our thoughts down each other’s throats

We used to laugh and joke
About the most random of things
You knew how to make me smile
And I would always give you the best hugs

Now I look for every excuse to be away from you; your silly thoughts aren’t amusing to me, just stupid and hopeless and pitiful.

We used to talk
About a whole lot of nothing
and that was one of the things I missed the most about you
when you went away

Now my thoughts barely drift to the subject of you while you’ve gone away, and if they ever do, it’s mostly thoughts of relief on how you’re not here at this moment.

I used to be the best daughter
You could’ve ever asked for
I always considered your feelings
Before my own.

Now I feel no guilt in yelling, “I hate you.” I’ve done it many times before.

You used to be my role model.
I wanted to be just like you,
You were a princess in my eyes
And I think I loved even more because of that.

Now I can’t wait to get away, from you and this life you’ve laid out for me, and now, the idea of growing up to be like you makes me want to cry.

And as minutes go by and days pass and years fly away, the space between us becomes even wider.

I didn’t want us to end up this way
But I cannot control the strong sway of my emotions
I cannot help the words spilling out my mouth
I’m sorry for hurting you
I really am.

Just be glad, that soon, I will move out
I will be my own person
I will start my own life
I will take advantage of the opportunities and become a better person than you ever were.

And in all that time, there just won’t be enough room in my life for you.
You understand, don’t you?

Because after all, you don’t really care what happens to me in the end, do you?

And for me, the only thoughts of sadness that linger are:

How and when did we allow such a vast amount of space to grow right between us, proving that our bonds of love were simply



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