Breaking Dawn | Teen Ink

Breaking Dawn

December 10, 2009
By Amber Fletcher BRONZE, Boulder Creek, California
Amber Fletcher BRONZE, Boulder Creek, California
1 article 1 photo 1 comment

Our family fire place that flow’s heat
The heat flowed down the stairs
And creped under my bedroom door,
The heat and warmth of the fireplace
Had awoken me from my winter wonderland
And to see,
That the dawn that was breaking
Was frozen
Covered with a blanket of snow
That was cast upon the giant redwood forest.
But I was not like my beautiful surroundings
I was in a pocket of warmth from that fireplace
My abstract dreams of the first snow
That had became true
Real
Like the flames of that fireplace that
Danced upon my thoughts that danced along
With the breaking of dawn


The author's comments:
The warm pocket that Im am submerged in every winter. This Poem is an exact replica of my winters in San Lorenzo Valley.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 3 comments.


t.ebony BRONZE said...
on Dec. 29 2009 at 2:45 pm
t.ebony BRONZE, Williamsport, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Labour without joy is base. Labour without sorrow is base. Joy without labour is base. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -John Ruskin

Amber,

Your poem Breaking Dawn creates a world using imagery and sensation. The image of the blanket of snow, the winter wonderland and the dancing flames and the sensation of flowing heat set a tone of quiet seclusion. If you want to revise this poem you might want to think about changing the adjective “flow’s” in “fireplace that flow’s heat” because you use it right away in the next line(“the heat flowed down(the)stairs). You might also want to change “creped” to crept because it seems to fit better. I enjoyed your poem:), keep writing!

-t.ebony

on Dec. 17 2009 at 2:01 am
Amber Fletcher BRONZE, Boulder Creek, California
1 article 1 photo 1 comment
No im not a twilight fan ive never read the book's or have watched those movies. Im not one of those girls who freaks out over a fictional book. I actully dislike the book series alot. The only books i read about vampires is what anne rice writes now she is a writer.

And breaking dawn was about where i grew up and the comforts of home and the fire place that my mother and father made. This poem has nothing to do with vampires

sucks4u said...
on Dec. 17 2009 at 12:12 am
what are you some twatlight fan? "breaking dawn"