You say “Hi,”

He says “Hey.”
You say “I love you,” with all your heart,

He says “Umm...” with half.
You buy him a present,

He has his assistant buy you a card.
You make dinner for two,

He eats at the office.
You say “It’s my birthday,”

He says “It’s your birthday?”
You say “Did you get me a present?”

He calls his assistant.
You say “Happy Valentine’s Day,”

He says “Working late.”
You say “Are you cheating on me?”

He says “Are you?”
You say “I want a divorce,”

He says “Good, cause I’m cheating on you.”
You say “With who?”

He says “My assistant.”
You walk out,

He calls his assistant.