At times i thought it was me,
but then i knew it couldnt be,
it had of been you not knowing what to do, i just wish you said i love you hoping i could say it to, but if you only new how much hell ive went through just trying to keep up with you,if only you had cared but you just wasnt there when i carried a knife to end my pathetic life,just wishing you loved me but only if it could be the one day i stopped so you wouldnt get caught,i just wanted a mother that would take the time to say i love you to her daughter,the love i need is the fight of teen being all alone with a mother at home not knowing or caring what i am doing as long as shes getting the things thats more important then me to you is the stuff that i wish was never here that makes you just smile and stare while im locked in my room crying and scared not knowing what to do anymore than to keep trying to make you relize that im more important then your messed up life, i guess you can go on knowing that im not here but i cant go on knowing that you would never care for the love of your daughter just needing a caring mother, but i will always love you for all the wrong reasons, your the one that gave me life but if you could give me just one more thing so that i could love you, just keep strong knowing that your wrong for the sake of my love as your child, why dont you just take me out of your life, i just wish you took the time to understand what each scar ment that lays up and down my wrist but if only you was here to even try and care that every scar was for you to say i love you,


(9-1-09) dedicated to my mother carol.