Taylor Swift said, “When you’re fifteen,

and somebody tells you they love you,

you’re gonna believe them.”

God, I’ve never heard anything more true.

You were my freshman-year crush,

my love at fifteen.

I should’ve known it wouldn’t last,

we didn’t have the love that I’d watch on the screen.

I loved you so so much,

and you told me that you care.

But how you lied to me, what you did,

it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair.

Now here I am, three years later,

and I’m falling into your trap again.

I’m falling for you, it’s clear in my poetry,

it’s so noticeable when the paper is touched by my pen.

Maybe it’s because I remember you,

every tiny detail engraved into my mind,

some longed-for desire,

like a lost treasure, I’m looking to find.

I remember the ocean,

and how its waves crashed in your eyes.

And I remember your perfect crooked smile,

and how you hid behind it like some dumb disguise.

I remember the softness in your laugh,

and even the weird way you walked.

I remember all the dreams you told me about,

and the passion in your voice when you talked.

I won’t lie when I finally admit to myself,

you occupy my restless thoughts at night.

It hurts because I know you don’t feel the same,

that I’m the only one with feelings that are impossible to fight.

Because I love you!

And I’m petrified… I always will.

This is a battle I know I won’t win,

and I know that I’ll be the only one that it will kill.

Still, I sit here,

solemnly lost in my head.

I’m wondering if your favorite color is still midnight purple,

and I’m dissecting every word that you’ve ever said. 

And I feel crazy!

I’m spiraling in this self-doubt…

And I know you never deserved me,

but I just can’t go on when you are all I think about.

In the back of my mind,

that young, naive girl just cries.

And day by day,

that part of her dies.

I just want your name,

to light up the screen of my phone.

And I know it’s because I miss you so much,

And that even just your voice makes me feel less alone.

I’ve tried so hard,

To just get past your memory.

But deep down without you,

I know that love just isn’t for me.

I know I shouldn’t open that door again,

I know all the warnings are right,

but I can’t stop that ache in my heart,

and I just don’t want to miss you tonight.