silence expands like a bubble, fragile, quivering,

expands and expands until it wants to burst,

your hands curled into shaking fists,

fingernails carving crescents into your palm, red and raw and bleeding,

hurting yet still so beautiful.

i keep my gaze down,

afraid of your cruel outline draped in shadows,

afraid of what i’d see in your eyes.

look up, you say, look at me.

would you be angry at me?

would you hate me?

i’m sorry, i’m sorry,

i lied, i lied, i lied.

i made a promise but didn’t keep it,

didn’t become the person you wanted me to become.

i lied to you and now the guilt splits me in two.

but i look up anyway because

after all i’ve done, you’re still so gentle,

understanding,

so filled with kindness.

it’s okay, you say, smiling, and

i find myself smiling too.

it hurts but your warm eyes melt all the pain away,

make me forget why i was hurting in the first place.

i still love you so much, you say, don’t you love me too?

and for once i don’t feel guilty when i say i do

because i know you’ll always love me, i’ll always love you,

and everything will be okay.

yes,

everything will be okay.

you smile again

and i smile with you.

i’m still smiling as i look away from the mirror.