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a pretty smile
she lost her best friend to a knife and depression
her grandfather to cancer, four stages in
her grandmother to her memory regression
her parents, whose expectations ate at her from within
and still, she smiles
she lost her voice, when it was clear no one would listen
her smirk, to the harsh truths that killed her light humor
her health, with days free of the pills a long-forgotten vision
her youth, as if life had decided she should grow up sooner
and still, she smiles
she lost her passion, when the sweetness of triumph began to fade
her innocence, with all the violence she'd seen living in her head, compiled
her hope, the flame slowly dwindling to ashes with every tear she paid
her joy, unseen wounds that she'd masked with a pretty smile
and yet, she smiles,
losing losing losing
she was so tired of losing
the pain she'd swallowed without a word of complaint
the smiles suddenly bruising
but even then
the pain never truly stopped
until she'd finally
lost herself
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