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sixteen
twenty three days until the big one six but i feel like it's just the same as when we were kids
i say we like it's not just me, i sit here and watch the days go by and all that changes is the calendar page.
twenty two days until i'm sixteen
it feels like i've seen everything
but i'm not even sixteen.
twenty one days until the big one six
i'm terrified of the change in twenty days
its not that different, but my friends talk about politics?
twenty days until i'm sixteen.
nineteen days and if I think anymore
I might just heave.
I'm not aloud out the back door anymore
No more play time for me
Eighteen days and I'm the DD
except, not literally
I'm just the driver sent for every task
Seventeen more days until the big one six
I need to get a job, but no one wants under sixteen so i'll put it on the rack
Sixteen days I'm just watching my friends grow up, I need to pick up the slack
Fifteen more days until i'm sixteen.
Fourteen days and I think I want to fall in love but I don't know what love is, do i?
Ten days until the big one six and I feel that certain kind of loneliness everyone feels around their birthday, right?
Nine days until, and I'm sleeping in my moms bed and my chest feels tight
nine days and its like i'm six all over again
while he yells, cause dad's always right
Eight days and can finally write but it feels built from spite
One more week until I'm sixteen
and I can't go back after that
Maybe i'm the one turning green
But i'm not jealous, i think
Six more days and I don't know what to do with my life it feels like my emotions are a maze and i can't find the end
Five days and I'd like to be by the ocean or maybe in the stars, somewhere I don't have to make amends.
Four more days and I think I might cry
they're asking about gifts and i just lie
Three days until the big one six.
Two days and my friends all have dates and I've barely even held his hand I don't want them to leave me.
One day until the big one.
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I wrote this piece almost exactly a year ago now, as my seventeenth birthday is in two weeks. I started writing this poem when I had a moment of really big fear over growing up and I wasn't sure what to do with my life only a few weeks before my sweet sixteen. I gave up on writing it before I got quarantined for covid through my birthday party and I was incredibly upset and decided to finish it. I think this poem will be very relatable for a lot of people my age because facing the reality that we're growing up is absolutely terrifying and we all feel the need to catch up.