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Lost
there was a point in my life
where it all seemed to hurt
I was so lost
But I was comfortable
Finally I stopped
I went to a church that changed me
and then I was new
Or I thought I was
Now I wonder..
I’m falling back into old habits
I’m too scared to stay out there
out of my comfort zone
because what if it hurts
They tell me I’m loved
they tell me I’m Forgiven
but these old habits
The way they eat at me
It feels like He preys on my struggle
I feel like I can’t control it
I feel like I can’t breathe
Why do my habits consume me
Why do they make me rot
I feel like a vegetable
not a pretty, ripe, nice vegetable
more like one that’s wilting
from sitting in the sun for hours
It’s been forgotten and left
sometimes I wonder if that is me
Am I forgotten and left?
Or do I forget and leave?
Now I am lost
I’m not sure how to stop
I’m not sure I can
I’m falling back
And I don’t know how to get back up
Maybe it’s all me
It’s all my fault
but God I know it is
Maybe it’s because I left
Would I struggle like this
Again
If I would just submit?
I already know the answer
But how do I do that
when there’s so many people
that could help me
that I could help
But they’re not on the right side
Or they’re just as lost as me
How
Do
I
Stop
?
I’m so lost
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