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Why?
Even with this camp-shaped hole in my heart,
I know that
Everything happens for a reason
But it’s so hard to believe
That the thing you wanted so bad
Wasn’t meant for you
You want it so bad,
You almost believed it was yours.
..I planned my whole summer around it
I don’t understand
Why it's not a part of God's plan for me
Because it felt so right
It felt like home
It felt like chaos
It felt like bliss
It felt like joy
It felt like where I’m meant to be
So it’s hard to understand
Why I’m not destined to go there…
Why I’m not able to go home
Why I’m not able to enjoy the chaos
Why I’m not able to soak in the bliss
Why I’m not able to feel the joy
It doesn’t make sense..
I’ve applied elsewhere, but nothing is the same;
What if this summer ends up lame?
What if I’m bored, watching TV all day,
Instead of being outside and doing things my way?
I need the bug bites;
I need the tanned skin;
I need the soft smile;
I need the excitement;
I need the people;
I need it all..
I trust that God will provide for me,
and make this summer fun;
But it's hard to grasp
Why I couldn't go back home
I’m sure He has a reason,
And I hope it’s a good one
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I wrote this about not understanding why I didn't get hired at camp this summer. I've applied to a few other camps, but I don't know if it will be the same. I don't know why God put me on this path, but I'm sure he has His reasons!