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Emotional Breakup
Dear Emotions,
Our relationship has always been
Complicated at best.
Rarely have we understood each other.
Some days, you are kind to me —
Laugher bubbling up behind my ribs
Joy crinkling my eyes
Contentment settling deep into my bones.
These passionate, several-day stands make me think
You love me.
But then
You leave.
Stand me up.
Quit. Cold turkey.
When you return, we fight.
These get ugly —
Our conflict strategy has never been a healthy one —
Anger hits me hard, making me
Snappish and argumentative
Then the sadness comes
Breaks across me in waves of undulating gray.
I retaliate
Give you the cold shoulder
Pretend you don’t exist.
I leave you —
I have an affair with the stark black -and-white of books
the safe realm of fiction
Where every emotion
Belongs to someone else
Ink drips out of my getaway car
Spelling out all the words I am afraid to say out loud
Blank pages spread out before me.
This is my domain. Not yours.
And yet, people want me to reach
Back out to you.
Call them up, they say
Get back in touch.
Deep down, you love each other.
Maybe we do.
But how can I trust you again?
You say you’re sorry
But I know you don’t mean it
Because it’s the same things
Over
And over again.
So you see—
How are we supposed to get back together?
I’m truly sorry,
Emotions.
But I think that we
Are better off
Apart
Cordially,
Your ex
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I wrote this a while ago when I was having a hard time with my emotions. I saw it as an unhealthy relationship— the constant up and down. I’m happy to say that my emotions and I are now back together — it does get better.