my mama tells me i need to learn faith.
really put my borrowed dreams into the capital g o d
take to the dusty and worn pews,
put a blindfold over my eyes and
worship sightless
to trust our lord and savior
and let him lead me blindly
follow his words and my path will be carved for heaven
drink his life and be rid of sin

for his blood in the wine is spilt over bruised knuckles
and sunken voices spoken with shame.
where the bible speaks in a scorched tone
to a faith in which my existence as a whole
is a written off as a sin,
as easy as looking up the definition of the word in a dictionary
for my own aunt pulling me aside,
sitting me down on that lonesome porch
and damning me to hell
and for once in that moment,
my sharp tongue fell mute

for the baby me who baptized catholic,
and for current me who is an atheist,
for the young me who couldn’t sleep
until i had given jesus my dreams
and for the current me who leads off of will alone,
determined to show the world i will survive off my pride alone
and for the young me who saw those stained pages,
and annotated the bible head to toe,
with those childish pink sticky notes,
filled with false beliefs and robotic ideals

for the scorched eyes and silenced tongues
for my truth i will finally speak