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The Aftermath
Losing him was harder than breathing underwater
Because every time I remember,
My chest feels pulverized
Like I got the wind knocked out of me
But finding him was as easy as
Closing my eyes
For he was always in my dreams
Missing him was harder than
Remembering the name
Of someone you met once
When you were small
Everything looks familiar,
But I can't place it,
I can't trace it
Back to anyone
But seeing him was as easy as looking around at his things
I still haven't removed
Thinking of him was harder than
Trying to stop a fire
With a constant source of gasoline
And you only have one bucket of water
Because it was impossible not to succumb
And it managed to burn me every time
In a different way
But feeling him was as easy as
Breathing
For I sensed his ghost everywhere I went
Loving him was easier and harder than anything
I ever did
And anything
I'll ever do
Because it came onto me so gradually
And tore me to pieces when it left
Leaving me full
Of emptiness
Wishing I’d never loved anyone in the first place
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Losing someone doesn’t get any easier with the passage of time, it just changes form.