My head bangs with the sound of my heartbeat

My eyes fight to stay open and enjoy the world as I should have seen it before

I yearn for something we used to see as sweet

The winter sky looks for the snow, so she can experience it once more

The gold that littered her cracks that he once filled with love and care;

Now are painted over, with her passion and strength.

Two pairs now become just one.

Dancing like a swan, to her own song. 

The burning flame, stronger than the sun.

No longer wavering with the wind or dimming with the need for someone else.

The mirror, no longer filled with noise; instead is still.

She only sees one reflection, but yet still hopes for two.

She knows she has improved.

She thinks she can continue.

She thinks he is better.

She knows that may not be true.

Her arms start to feel like his.

Her bed starts to feel lonely.

Her mind starts to scream again, with no console in sight.

It’s good though. The numbness from her toes to her head has long been dissipated.

But what about loneliness?

What about time that passes slower one day and faster with the next?

The events you wish to tell in a hurry, lips sewn shut.

The tears you hope a ghost would catch;

Soaks the carpet with a soft thud.

The ups and downs of each episode leads her to wonder.

Was this worth the independence?

Was this worth the cracks not yet painted royal gold in the mirror?

Just to yearn and feel for that same old presence.

Yes, someday it will be alright.

The sky will be alright.

The vase will shine in the light.

The flame will be still and bright.

But not tonight.

Tonight,

I find it hard to be alright.