Spring…

As a child, I would swim under the covers like a mermaid

I would pretend I had scales painted along my tiny legs and dash across the mattress as if I were underwater

There were times when I treated a table like it was a home

Underneath it, I found comfort and imagined a life where possibilities blossomed from beneath a wooden roof

And then someone peeked their face into the water

And hovered outside my home

There she found me in my mind

There I knew I had discovered someone who would save me from drowning in the pool of sorrow I created later on

She would break down the walls of my home and remind me that the mind can also be a prison

—mother will always come back

 

One thing that fills my vivacious mind is how it feels to be in love

To me, it starts as a day in spring

I watch as everything blooms, from the roses to the camellias

And the city I live in flourishes like the inside of a flower shop

As I walk around the place I created, I stare in awe as if I’ve never been in love before

—this feeling is always new

 

I have felt love in multiple ways

For an array of friends that were like promises I never kept

And for family members that always nourished me despite my lack of encouragement for them

But I have never been head over heels for someone quite like him

One can say that time and time again, but there will never be someone like the other

They’re all different, and my heart flutters uniquely for each individual

But I must say, my eyes sparkle, sweat trickles, thoughts unfocus, and petals sprinkle 

When I see him, it feels like the moon and the earth collided to make a world just for the two of us

But should I remind myself that roses need time to bloom or that heels are meant to be tripped at least once in a lifetime?

—falling for you

 

I sat in a library with a book I couldn’t put down. I had my headphones in, blasting away all my favorite indie songs. I turned page after page, intrigued as the story continued. The first page sucked me in, the second page pulled me in, and the rest caught me like a prize, even though I was captivated when I first saw the cover.

And then he tapped my shoulder.

I paused my music, turning to him. Would I say it was love at first sight? A feeling that lacks substance and pains the heart as quickly as it’s felt? Perhaps, but what I felt was familiar. I saw him and thought we could be more than just two people sitting next to each other. We could be more. I truly believed that we were meant to get to know each other.

I told him the seat was free, and he sat down, but I asked his name, and the words sucked me in. I inquired about how his day was, and his life pulled me in. And when I noticed the book in his hand was the same as mine, he caught me like a prize, even though I was captivated when I first saw those brown eyes.

—starting somewhere

 

A vase can hold more than just beauty

It holds emotions from petals that had an intention

It gathers flowers that were connected and gives them a home to flourish in

After such a long day of having no place to go, they found a home in a container, holding feelings they have emulated

But a vase can’t hold the emotions of the heart as humans have trouble putting their feelings into something

—uncontainable emotions

 

I saw him again. He sat at a table across the room, reading a book I recognized. We had similar tastes, but I wondered if we could share those tastes with each other. From what we read to what we loved to how we lived. Could we be more than two people living different lives?

—approaching him

 

I stood up from my seat. People say wait for the man to chase you, but the man I want is too far. The distance must close someday, and who am I to let him do all the work? I could regard myself as a princess or a queen, but even royals have to fight for something. 

And so I tapped his shoulder.

He paused his music, turning to me, and my heart began to sing a song too fast for me to keep up. I asked if I could sit beside him, and he allowed me to. The next step I had to take was to make conversation, but he spoke first.

“What made you like that book?” He asked.

“It was love at first sight,” I answered almost too quickly.

He smiled like a ray of sunlight and leaned his cheek into the palm of his hand. His eyes, gleaming their brown beauty, were focused on me and only me. “I feel the same way,” he said, “about the book, I mean.”

—it was more than just a book

 

Apples dipped in caramel

Strawberries covered in chocolate 

Bananas mixed into a smoothie

And love shrouded in all of these 

—I made this for you

 

I would take care of you

If you were hurt, I’d be there for you

Relationships aren’t all about the pleasantries and the enjoyment

Someday, one of us will have to help one another out, whether we’re in pain or grieving 

I would gladly be there for you

—there is nothing I wouldn’t do

 

Melodies are what move us

Harmonies are what balance us

Music is what guides us

And our voices are how we preserve us

—communication is key

 

You never know if you have found the right person, especially when you could be the wrong person for them

My mother told me time will tell you, but what if I want to know now?

Patience is a virtue, but impatience has its reasons

Waiting for someone in spring is hard when seasons affect how we feel

Will he be here when the heat has risen too high?

—waiting for you hurts

 

For the first time, we waved to each other, and we sat together without having to ask if we could. We whispered enough to hear one another, but when he made a joke, I laughed so loud that others heard it. But I was right. He caught me like a prize from the moment I laid eyes on him, and now he had a hold on me that I couldn’t let go of.

“Shall we go somewhere else?” He asked.

“We shall,” I replied.

—moving forward

 

I’m a romantic, and romance is addicting

Every show that has a couple, I eat it up like there’s no tomorrow

I’m in love with love, and there’s nothing wrong with that

It’s the strongest emotion and the most enjoyable connection

What is a human without that feeling?

—we are loving 

 

Dandelions dance in the breeze

And the grass rustles in the wind

The sun illuminates the day

And the ducks wobble away 

As I walk with you, I wish I could focus on the beauty of spring

But I simply can’t take my eyes off you

You’re as animated as the flowers

And as active as the vibrant grass

You brighten up my day

And I hope you never wobble away

This season has its elements

And you are one of them

—it isn’t spring without you

 

In this season, I think of all the happy things and ignore what’s bothering me

I tell my mother there is nothing wrong, but in reality, I ignore it all

I love others blindly, and I live carefree

But something is brewing underneath

—suppressing my emotions

 

Life starts with birth and ends with death

Somewhere in between my journey, I stopped caring about the end creeping up on me

I prefer to focus on the life that’s constantly growing before me

Who cares about the end when you can have more than one beginning?

—a cycling life

 

Some people live like they could die at any moment

And others live like life will start at any moment

I don’t want to live as if there’s no tomorrow or live as if I have all the time in the world

I just want to live in a way that makes me love being alive

Life should be enjoyed, not rushed or wasted

—live happily

 

The cafe’s music plays in the background as we talk. I watch the corners of his lips rise and fall, rise and fall. I listen as his voice fluctuates from low to high and back down to his favorite tone. I gaze at him as his hands move in a way that catches my eye, from here to there.

I could be with him forever, in this cafe, simply talking.

—sitting together

 

Mysterious forests aren’t intriguing 

They only scare me away from entering

Birds that never chirp aren’t welcoming

They’re closed doors that don’t want anyone opening

And I’m not breaking in

However, when he tells me all his tales and never lies, I feel like I‘m not a stranger

Tell me what I should know, but don’t hide what would scare me away

Silence can be a virtue but also a warning that what isn’t said will haunt us later on

—I want to know

 

 

Spring is practically over

My love has sprouted, and as I get to know him, it grows stronger and stronger

I’ve never felt this way before, but I’ll preserve this feeling for as long as possible

Loving someone is my favorite thing to do

—I’m having fun

 

The sun began to set, and we watched from where we stood on the street as it fell.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” I said in awe.

He wasn’t answering, so I turned to him, and he was gazing at me. “It sure is,” he replied.

—the beauty in her

 

A bouquet in his hands

With various hues

And precious petals

And there he stands, like a garden sharing its best

—the gift of presence

 

I don’t know where I’ll be in a year as I never thought that far

The future is like picking up a book without reading its synopsis 

Or opening the door to a place you’ve never been before

But I know what I want when the time comes

A home, my mother, and a love like no other

—that is enough

 

 

 

 

Summer…

 

I laid in his arms despite the rising heat in the atmosphere. He held me close as he slept, but it was time for me to leave. I didn’t want to go, but a girl like me couldn’t afford to miss a work day. However, someday I hoped I could always wake up next to him. This love for him had been growing since we met, and as I lay with him, it increased even more.

I attempted to move without waking him, but I felt his fingers gloss across my shoulder, causing chills to erupt where he touched. His hand found its way to mine and interlaced his fingers in it. His lips softly pecked my cheek, and I wondered if it was summer or his love that made me feel so fuzzy inside.

“Have a good day, my love.” His voice sounded even more resounding than before, and I knew that was all I wanted to hear when I woke up.

—mornings with you

 

Lemonade tastes sour, causing tongues to shrivel up 

But sugar enhances the drink, allowing the aftertaste to comfort us

This world is becoming lemonade, turning sour

And only love can sweeten the pain we feel

—sweet and sour

 

My mother told me life can’t always be happy

I told her life can’t always be sad

I want pleasure and joyful days without feeling the pain I hide in my heart

Mother said someday you will have to face what you keep a lie

—balancing my soul

 

My white dress ripples in the wind

The sunflowers embellish the field

The sun irradiates the path we walk on together

Let’s continue forward to the paradise up ahead

—days with you

 

The temperature falls at night

But there is still a bit of heat, warming the air

As I lie next to him, summer continues in this room

And as our skin touches, my soul is rid of any impurity

—you heal me

 

His honesty is my favorite subject

The language isn’t sugarcoated

The vital information isn’t subtracted

And the words aren’t hidden in his reactions

He tells the truth and doesn’t fail to comfort me after

—gaining trust

 

I gazed at him. The white glow seeping through the curtains highlighted his beautiful brown eyes. It was time to sleep, but I wanted to listen to him longer. His day filled my imagination, his emotions gathered in my heart, and his skin heated my whole body. I found a friend, and I found love. Since we met, I have never been the same. My evenings have never been without him.

—nights with you

 

Listening when I speak

Focused only on me

That’s a quality that enhances him

It might be what I first fell in love with

—engaged

 

 

Butterflies flutter with an elaborate color

Birds flap their wings as they ascend to the sky

Roses sway in a garden of green

And it is almost as if the world was made to be seen by the human eye

—nature

 

I take a sip of my tea as I read the book I hold

And then he asks me all sorts of questions, causing me to take my eyes off what I read

But I don’t mind his interest

It shows that I’m not the only one loving too hard

—afternoons

Willows under the moon

Walks with you

Stories we share

Moments with just a stare

—alone together

 

A voice to serenade me

Stories that interest me

I could listen forever

To those words that sound like love letters

—when you talk

 

 

He told me I wouldn’t see him for a while. Work had taken up all his time, and he had become too busy. But that was fine. Nothing would worry me as long as we were connected by our hearts.

—I trust you

 

My mother told me I was too clingy

After days without seeing the one I love, I felt alone

But she said this happened all too quickly

The love may be felt, but it needs time to flourish

She asked me why I wanted to be in love

But what would I do without it?

She says love yourself, but I don’t have time for that

I just want his love

—my own toxicity

 

Nighttime calls

Sensual conversation

Thinking of your skin

Imagining your grin

The moon is out

And sleep begins to take over

But listening to your voice is like hearing a lullaby

Through this phone, sing your song

—late night calls

 

Cicadas buzz

Bees fuss

The heat rises

Children run

Summer is like a dream with random things meshing 

It’s a season that people either love or hate

But appreciate the days where fun is supposed to happen

Use this time to observe the beauty without any reason

—summery days

 

Run through the rustling grass

Like a tiger searching for food

Never stop moving forward

Never give up on what keeps you going

—advice from a mother

 

Even when I write, I think of you

But my heartbeat can barely be put into words

It says so much, but it speaks a language that can’t be translated

But I know it’s saying that it misses you 

—a heart’s words

 

I hadn’t seen him in a while, so I forgot how much I loved his smile. I couldn’t handle the distance. I wished to be with him every waking hour of the day. I wanted to rise with him, live with him, and fall asleep with him. I wished to do that with someone someday and finally found my opportunity. 

So sway me like the wind does to the rose, and embrace me like the rose does to the wind.

—be with me

 

The sand burns the feet

But the ocean cools the skin

The salt burns the eyes

But the popsicles cool the tongue 

Families, couples, friends

They fill the land and brighten the environment 

What is the world without this place?

Somewhere so hot, yet so cool

—the beach

 

Blue Jays singing in the trees

Squirrels searching for seeds

Bunnies hopping in the fields

You and me dancing on the street 

—dreaming of us

 

Strawberry ice cream is my favorite flavor

Dulce de leche is the runner up

Chocolate is a guilty pleasure 

But nothing compares to your kiss that I savor

—the taste of you

 

 

 

 

Autumn …

 

 

The sight of orange leaves

Streets filled with smiling faces

Hand in hand, couples walk

And squirrels dash up the trees with nuts

This must be my favorite season

—autumn

 

We entered the apartment, but he grasped my shoulders and told me he couldn’t wait. First to disappear was my coat, then my shoes, and suddenly his hands were underneath my thighs, and he was carrying me to the bedroom. Our lips danced together like ballerinas in the rain, slowly pirouetting along the sidewalks. We followed a slow yet sensual beat, tasting each other and feeling one another.

He laid me down and took a moment to look me in the eye. 

“Thank you,” he said, running his fingers through my hair as his eyes became sorrowful, “for existing and breathing despite how hard it is to feel special in life.”

—appreciating the simple things

 

Acorns decorate my mother’s backyard

And I sit on the patio eating warm pumpkin soup

Will I always be able to be with my mother in autumn?

The answer is no, but at least I have a place that will be there when she’s gone

—home

 

Laughing at night

Dancing in the morning

These days are becoming regular 

I hope they last forever

—living together

 

It’s alright to not know where you’re going

You can drive without a destination 

Or walk without a set location

But there will always be a person that will welcome you and show you the way

—ask for directions

 

Your existence is a gift

Your smile is a prize

Everything about you is desired

Every part of you is more than just a speck of dust in the universe

—you are the world

 

Eat the food you have

Love the people who care

Live in a place you deserve

And remember that the cycle of life is about kindly giving and loving what you receive

—gratitude

 

 

A cold season has arrived, bringing a wind that chills the skin

But just like summer, where the heat burns like we all have sinned, there is still a warmth between us

It will never leave, even if we stop seeing each other for years to come

That’s what love is, a memory

—always remember me

 

 

Stories galore fill the room

And there is so much to choose from

But a book is more than a novel or a poem; it is a recollection 

It’s someone recalling a pain, a smile, tears, and what makes them move forward

—peace in a bookstore

 

He told me that he would have to go overseas for work in the winter, and I wouldn’t see him for a while. Long-distance was never my forte as I crave love and romance, but he said we’ll spend as much time as we could together before he left.

—I will miss you

 

He laid in my lap, his curls splayed across my skirt

I held a book in my hand, reading the words aloud

Page after page, I turned, but when I took my eyes off them, he had fallen asleep

I smiled, glossing my fingers across his cheek, feeling as though I could live like this forever

—just me and you

 

A lit candle illuminates the room

Two bottles of crisp red wine

Seats for two, facing each other

And a night of love

—dinner with you

 

My heel began to hurt my foot, and I couldn’t travel down the stairs leading to the sidewalk. However, he lifted me and carried me down like a princess. He held me close when he put me down, and I gazed into his brown eyes.

“If you break your foot,” he said, “I might never let you go.”

—be careful

 

He pushed me up against a wall

His lips hovering over mine

But he pulled away and laughed with a smile

However, I grabbed his collar and took his kiss, grinning all the while

—don’t tease me

 

As I sat in his lap, he started tickling me

But when I stood up, he begged me to be in his arms again

And so I took my seat, but he whispered, “I love you,” in my ear

I got up again but took a step back and another one until I reached the bedroom door and held out my hand

“Let me show you how much I love you too.”

—in this room

 

Under one umbrella, the rain fell hard

Close together, the rain still found us

But as long as I’m next to you, the droplets don’t matter

Besides, wet bodies mesh better than dry ones

—naughty thoughts

 

A starry night and a roof meant for two

We stare at the constellations, watching as the stars sparkle

But something reminds me of this sky

It feels like I’m looking at him, a beautiful mind that shines so bright

So I turn to him, but there he is, looking at me

—a canvas

 

Never settling

Always looking ahead

I like that about him

His desire to reach his dreams

—ambition 

 

As we drive, he keeps one hand on the wheel and another on my thigh

But when he makes a turn, he grips the wheel with both hands, letting go of me

He drops his hand on his lap, allowing it to rest, but I pull it to mine and place it on my thigh

He didn’t notice, but all I do is smile to myself

—your touch means everything

 

Today is the day that he must go. We’ve been together for so long that I can’t imagine a whole season without him. But maybe I need time to focus on myself, figure out what’s been bothering me, and heal my soul. So have fun, my love, and I will do my best too.

—apart

 

 

 

 

Winter…

 

Walking through the snow

It crunches like paper

Sitting on the couch

Watching snowfall through the window

Everything is tranquil, and I’m still reminded of you

—winter

 

Hot cocoa in a bookstore

Hushed voices nearby

A novel in my hand

Alone again

—without you

 

Birds sing melodies 

But mine is a melancholy 

Aimlessly I travel 

Searching for a way not to be so fragile

—breaking apart 

 

As I walk across the street, I see a lamppost, familiar to me

I stand under it, remembering its importance, so precious to me

And a drop of white falls from the sky

I peer up and see snowfall

And it all comes back to me, this place of beginnings

—our first kiss

 

We call every day

But it’s not the same

I miss your touch

I miss our presence

—waiting again

 

Cloudy skies

A distant sun

My lonely soul

Missing what shines the most

—your smile

 

 

My mother says I’ve never loved myself

I only search for love from others

I ask her what’s wrong with that 

She says there’s nothing wrong until you’re alone

Then you realize you can’t be by yourself

You choose to be with people to feign your lack of fondness for yourself

And prefer to ignore the sadness in your heart

But look up, little one, at least you have yourself to hold

—you are good enough

 

My father was never really there for me as I wished

But I recall when I was a child, and he read stories to me before I slept

I miss the days when I could tell him anything

And share my journey with him

But now he doesn’t even know that I like to write poems

He doesn’t know that someday I want people to consume what I put into the world

If I told him that, would he understand that throughout life, there were things I wanted to say to him, but I never got a chance?

Simply because he wasn’t there 

—absence

 

I once had a friend that didn’t know what it meant to compliment

She didn’t bring me the joy I looked for in people

Yet I stuck with her

I let her say what she wanted, do what she wanted, and treat me how she wanted 

But I thought she stayed around because she actually loved me

In reality, she wanted a place to put her negativity

And I didn’t care due to my lack of positivity 

All I wanted was to be liked, and I thought that was what she gave me

—craving friendship

 

 

Daffodils covered in white

Empty trees scattered throughout the path

The streets are quiet

And for once, when I’m alone, I smile

—learning to be by myself

 

Pink skies

Silent roads

Countrysides

An empty mind

—a drive 

 

After finding love, I had to find balance. I admitted that I was clingy, but he never minded. However, sometimes I needed to be alone. You discover all sorts of things about yourself. What makes you laugh, what makes you mad, and what makes you cry your eyes out with no end.

Be alone sometimes, just so you can smile again.

—alone but not lonely

 

I sat in the library with a book. Of course, I was reading romance; what else? However, even the characters know how to love themselves, and I was glad I was beginning to understand that feeling. Nothing is better than caring for yourself.

—in love with me

 

Bike riding in the morning

Cold burning my nose

But still, I keep breathing

Despite the pain of the air

—keep living

 

Your hair is gorgeous 

The way the corners of your lips rise is attractive

How you walk with your head up is admirable

Affirm that you are beautiful, and you will feel it with confidence

—affirmations

 

Bath bombs, face masks, bath salts

They tell you to buy these, and you’ll feel better

But even if money can buy you self-care, it won’t bring you self-love

Don’t waste your dollars when you should recognize you’re worth more

—beyond price tags

 

Turn off your phone

And rest your eyes

You’ve become too desensitized 

So let the emotions warm your soul

—forgetting our feelings

 

 

I stood in the airport waiting for him. After months of not seeing his smile, it was finally time to see it again. How long I’ve waited, how long I’ve yearned. But still, something came of it. The distance created the love I was missing. And the person who told me to find it was the one who’d never leave. 

As a matter of fact, he never met her. I’ll make sure she meets the one who has my heart, and he’ll meet the one who heals my soul.

—mother and soulmate

 

A bracelet or necklace

A dress or a soft kiss

His gifts are perfect

But his presence is always my wish

—birthdays

 

 

What do you do when a season becomes the worst?

The flowers don’t bloom

The waves don’t push and pull like they usually do

The orange leaves turn black

And the white trees all die

What will you do then?

Curl up and cry?

Distance yourself and conceal your smile?

Sit alone and avoid the ones who still care?

I say live to see the next season

Live to witness your life improve 

Breathe in, and never let the season stop your flow

Breathe out, and watch the year flourish 

—seasons change