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Where I'm From- Reprise
I know where I come from.
I come from broken ties and dysfunction-
from alcoholics and I-owe-yous that are never repaid.
I come from broken promises and sideswept glances
and having to relearn who my own father is because he was ripped away from me.
I come from family members pushed to suicide attempts
because they are too mentally unstable to keep going.
One actually succeeded.
I can’t remember what her face looks like.
I come from an owl that shouldn’t have to be wiser than his years
because he was taught to be compliant and lucky he still had a roof over his head-
even if said room contained horrifying demons that tried to break him at every turn.
I come from a broken spine that will never be able to heal
because he is too hardworking and kind for his own good
and a mother that sits on her ass most days
because she was never taught any better.
I come from mind numbing anxiety
and the wish to be something I’m not in the hopes of blending in.
It never works.
The bullies always manage to find me.
Sometimes those bullies would be my own family.
You can bet some family get-togethers would get awkward.
I come from a different identity than the one imposed upon me,
where I had to hide and push it out
in fear of being labeled more of a freak than I was.
I come from self-inflicted scars on my arms that will never heal
because I’m too broken to have any better coping mechanisms.
I come from screaming matches that are rolls of thunder in a storm of tension-
they seem never ending these days.
No one ever wins.
I came into a world riddled with unresolved issues
that will still be prevalent no matter how hard we may try.
History repeats itself, after all.
I came into a world that quickly shook me out of my sunshine and rainbows fantasy
and has left me scrambling for purchase in earth that is crumbling beneath my feet.
I came into a world where I was naturally poor with the unfortunate luck
of having to deal directly with the problems of capitalism-
greedy men that want nothing more than to get richer.
I came into a world where there is no equality.
Where the rose tinted glasses of innocence have been ripped off my face
and I am left blind.
I am blind,
and yet I can see clearer than most people can in their delusions of complacency.
And in my blindness, I am forced to find and grip the augmented glasses
of a world of lies and deceit.
People tell me I’m too self aware for my own good.
I can’t help but find myself agreeing with them.
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This article has 2 comments.
I call this one a reprised version of my original Where I'm From becuase this was written almost as a response to it. I had just listened to some spoken word performances, and it had spurred this concept of an almost darker version. One where I didn't feel the need to not include anything because of it being for a school assignment.