A panic attack goes from 0 to 100 in an instant. It’s halfway between feeling like you’re faint and feeling like you’ll die. If you miss a step on the stairs and your stomach lurches, it feels like that, just it lasts much, much longer. Fighting for breath, feeling like the floor’s unstable. Trapped in your own head while floating somewhere outside, looking back at yourself, wondering what the hell you’re doing. A huge fist grabs hold of my insides. My heart goes into overdrive, and I go through motions on auto-pilot. Like when you’re in a dream and you are screaming but you can’t make any noise. Your entire body is feeling everything and nothing all at once. And you just wanna jump out of your skin, and get away from this feeling. But I just keep thinking, “This will pass. This will pass.” And it usually does.

Let me tell you how it feels. To worry all the time. To feel as if you’re trapped. A constant wall. It stops you in your tracks. And then the panic sets in. Heartbeats fast, cold chills begin to sweat, feet and hands go numb. Taste of metal. Ringing ears. Everything’s too loud. You feel like everyone’s watching, witnessing your weakness. Every day it’s the same. You wish you didn’t care. That it didn’t feel like this, but, it does. And it will for a long time. You try to reach out, but you’re slowly sinking, into a pit of darkness, scrambling for a hand to pull you out but no one listens. That is anxiety.