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Living With Anxiety
I can’t raise my hand without the fear of being incorrect
But your mind won’t let you go even though you can
I can’t ask you how you are
I can’t knock on a door or ask for extra napkins
I can’t hang out with friends
What is anxiety?
It is not being able to live your life
Like being trapped in a cage that’s unlocked
Drowning but you are still afloat on top of the water
Like suffocating but still being able to breath
It is like wanting friends but you can’t talk to them
And being frozen in time while wishing and dreaming about a different life
It is a condition that only I can understand
I am afraid of every little thing that pops up in life
I am afraid of talking
I am afraid of what tomorrow might bring
I am afraid of asking a question
My hands get sweaty
I can’t even out my breath
I can’t speak without my words coming out jumbled
A line for food, no
Looks like I will go hungry ‘til next meal
People talking about something that interests me, no
I will listen and regret it later that I didn’t join in
Need something from the store, no
I will find something else to replace it with
Each minute, day, month, year that passes is a battle with myself
I live my life always being uncomfortable
Too many thoughts run through my head like people trying to get out of a disaster
Each thought giving me something to be fearful of
My heart always beating at super speed
My brain thinks that I don’t belong
I don’t want to feel this way but I do
I force myself to go and stay
I don’t know what to say
It’s hard to stay when you want to go
Even though no one can see my battle
They think I am fine
Honestly, I am not fine or okay
I have anxiety every day of my life
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This article has 2 comments.
This poem is about anxiety and what living with it feels like. I hope this will help others open up about anxiety and not to be ashamed of it. Writing has helped me slowly overcome some of my anxiety. Plus, it is a way to express myself. Hopefully, you will have another perspective on what anxiety is to someone and enjoy the poem.