Thirteen | Teen Ink

Thirteen

October 2, 2018
By TobiasEliot DIAMOND, San Diego, California
TobiasEliot DIAMOND, San Diego, California
53 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." -Pablo Neruda


You have to admit it’s a little f***ed-up
That I’m only thirteen
And more of my friends have texted me to say they’re high
Than to say hi
I’m only thirteen
And staring contests have turned into stare-downs
Like the time I spent three months watching Death out of the corner of my eye
And whoever blinks first loses
I think I won
But at this point I can’t tell the difference between my friend’s eyes and the darkness that makes the moon shine
I’m only thirteen
And when my friend’s seat at school one day is abandoned, I wonder if they decided to abandon life
Hide-and-go-seek has become hide-and-pray-that-someone-finds-you-before-it’s-too-late
Writing notes to friends has become writing love letters to suicide
To be honest, it’s been a long time since I’ve given my body anything but hate mail
Maybe because I know it should be male
I’m only thirteen
But I already know that friends aren’t forever and sometimes soda isn’t strong enough to kill the things inside my head
I know that love isn’t forever and you can’t always trust adults
I know that scars don’t always come from pavement
What has this world become?
The system is broken and so are we



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