today i feel everything and nothing all at once

broken memories collect themselves in the pit of my stomach

spilling out between the gaps in my ribcage

leaking through the spaces like morning light through shutters left wide open

today i feel distant

today i feel lost

today i feel like the ground pushes against my feet

hot summer concrete branding its heat into the calloused soles of my feet

my imaginary feet

for i am everywhere and nowhere all at once

i exist in places that don’t exist

my metaphysical body breaks itself into pieces and spreads itself across vast scapes of nothing

searching for thoughts that i cannot reach

my bones position themselves between pages within forgotten bookshelves 

my nonexistent bones

i run out of air more times than my lungs can inflate and deflate like round balloons

i run out of words more often than my invisible body solidifies and melts again in the undoing of my defeated mind

beaten with sticks 

disfigured by rocks

diminished by mephitic smoke 

the malodorous devil

entering my mythical body through any empty space it finds

cutting me open and flaying my brain into two broken halves

the right holds my desolation while the left cradles my emptiness

and perhaps it is this split within my body that rejects my will for omnipotence 

and offers me defeat in a package tied with string

perhaps it is that this will does not exist

my fabled body diminishing itself into ashes spread across the universe

perhaps it is that i am not everywhere 

and i am not nowhere

i am here

and i do not feel a thing