Do you know who you are to me now?

Do you know?

Are you aware of the hurt you've caused me?

Are you aware that every push, every pull, only hurts me?

Do you know what it feels like?

Do you?

The feeling that you are no longer good for anything other for people to push you around?

You gave me it.

You killed my self-esteem.

Where did it go, I ask.

How did it go, I ask.

It struggled.

It held on.

For you.

Why did I fall for you?

You've only brought me pain.

You pushed me away once.

You pushed me without touching me.

Now, you push me like you own me.

You push me like I meant nothing to you.

But I see your smile more.

I see the reason I love you more.

And it breaks me in half.

Do you feel happier, pushing me down?

Do you tremble less, knowing there is someone beneath you?

Do you feel okay?

Because I hope you don't.

I hope I didn't fall in love with someone who kills me.

I have thoughts now, about the one class we share.

I want to shoot that Teacher.

I want to pull the trigger on the person who had the authority to shoot you down.

I want to see them suffer.

I want their world to be torn in two.

But you act as if it is playful banter.

People look as if it's one of the things couples do.

You don't love me.

You act like you do.

And people don't stand up for me.

Me, the big, lumbering one.

Me, the smart, thoughtful one.

Me, the fat, pathetic one.

You could.

If you wanted to.

But you don't, do you?

And the worst of all, it hurts.

You are going through something worse than me.

But somehow it seems I get all of the pain.

You are doing everything I want you to do.

At the cost of myself.