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Runaway
I have been running for as long as I could remember
I don’t remember if I’m chasing something or am I being chased
Am I running away from who I used to be
And now running to who I want to be
I’ve ran for almost 18 years straight
But now I am at a fork in the road
Should I be true to myself or
Should I be the person that will make everyone happy?
For the longest time
I’ve ran from depression, grief, and a list of other problems
I’ve ran for so long my own family doesn’t know who I am anymore
To hell with it, I don’t know who I am anymore
Is it fear?
Is it the sense of not belonging with my family?
Or is it that I can’t be honest with myself?
Will I ever have the courage to walk up to my family and say
I’M GAY
The part of my life I’ve hid from my family for about 4 years
Even though I am constantly running
I’m going nowhere
Like a hamster in his rainbow colored wheel
I am so tired of running
But what other choice do I have
If I rest I feel like someone will catch me in my lie of a life
And I won’t ever catch up to the confident person I want to be
If I keep running
I wouldn’t be true to myself and that is the worst feeling
All I know for sure
Is that the stormiest days
Create the most beautiful rainbows
I will stop running
And if the storm doesn’t pass
I will just walk away
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I wrote this piece when I was coming out. And I am still coming out to people, but this piece let me show the real me.