You still ache in every part of me

My veins are full of crimson sea water

You used to tear apart the sky for me

But now I've got colors tearing through my skin

I'm lashed together by bones stained with hope

And you've got to promise me that it gets better

Because my bloody pupils won't stop screaming about you

Freckles like tears on my ashy sky of a face

Licking at the ragged edges of the grief inhabiting the very marrow of my bones

I am running on your precious broken glass

And my lips are bleeding from how many words try to tear past them

I am on the bathroom floor wrapped up safe and shattered in all my ghosts

And my desperation is starting to color the edges of all the gray days

I am drowning man in love with a piece of driftwood

But this driftwood is full of holes

And I am disappearing beneath this bitter salt water

It sears my throat and I cough up the widow's rubies in my lungs

My skin is tearing itself into jagged strips like a sail in a storm and maybe, just maybe I can use it to sail somewhere

Somewhere out of here

Where girls smile like sunshine and boys taste like rain

And everyone drinks liquid silver out of golden goblets just to keep their hearts beating for one more day

But you are still inside of me, a splintered shard of wood in a boat of rotten leaves

Shredding ripping snapping breaking

But when I die

Yes, when I die

Well

If the end of the world is a whimper

I want the end of your world to be a howl

I want you to f***ing scream until your throat bleeds onto these well-used bathroom floors in cheap hotels with lost loves scratched into the walls

I want your salty tears to burn holes in your flushed cheeks and I want you to lay your fists at the drywall until your knuckles are bruised and holes mark where you've been and where I was

Because all our lives you've been gentle but now the profit of your gentle ways is gone, given away to the netherworld of rotten hopeful bones

Scream, whimper, rage, gasp for air because there is nothing left for you here

You beautiful wide-eyed boy with the universe painted across your body in the form of scars, stretching across your wrists, straining to hold you together with the unrelenting swell of your agony pushing, rising, threatening to turn you into a blood red geyser

I used to let you run your agitated hands over my body because I knew no other way to prove to you that we've all got flaws and your hungry grass eyes ate up everything the other crows left behind

I used to be your plaything, you called me your love toy, but little boys are always so careless with their things

And you left your marks all over my body just like tiger stripes, making sure the world knew I was once yours, abandoned in a rusty sandbox of dreams that never quite made it

But stars are scars on the fabric of the galaxy and I hereby vow I will never become a dying one

And my mother once told me "little boy, the sun is just a star and scars are just a map to show your lover where you've been" and so I make myself in the image of a vast house with tiny windows and when someone finally gets in I will leade them to the room where you sleep and I will allow them to destroy you as you beg for the help you never gave me