How do I tell you that my biggest fear is the one I do the most often,

Which is falling in love again and again with memories, that should be forgotten,

That when I look at you, despite the fact that you're with her my heart still softens,

That the sweet words you once said feel like they're getting rotten.

Falling in love with you feels like it should have never been an option,

When it feels like I'm walking on a tightrope, holding my breath in, reminding myself to walk with caution,

Making me believe that maybe I should just send my heart for adoption

Because somehow living with it provides me nothing but exhaustion.  

Now walking around is dreadful because I tend to bump into what is left of you and I,

Which means bumping into broken memories, shattered dreams and most of all no goodbyes,

When things like this happen, I hold myself tight and sleep will come with one last sweet lie,

And maybe then I'll wake up as if my heart strings have never been snapped and left untied.

But most of the time sleep doesn't come and I'll tell you why,

Sleep doesn't come when I'm up at 2, taking a shower to scrub you off my mind, 

When it's 3 and I'm still trying to pick off the impression of you because love is blind and so am I,

It really doesn't come when you realise that living without you is seemingly normal and what you would call fine.