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My Daddy
Butterfly birthday cakes and presents all wrapped in pretty paper
It's supposed to be a special day, but each year it gets even faker
I smile and laugh, but deep down inside
There's a pain in my heart that I try to hide
Didn't want no ice-cream; didn't want no cake
Without my daddy here, what is there to fake?
Maybe I should stop waiting
Maybe I should stop wishing
I thought maybe today, but he's still a missing
My daddy
Green graduation gowns and tassels golden as the sun
It's supposed to be a happy day, but I aint had no fun
I dial a number and hear the phone ring ring ring ring
I was late for my solo; he didn't hear me sing
Took my diploma; turned my tassel to the right side
Threw up in the bathroom, but I refused to cry
Maybe I should stop watching
Maybe I should stop calling
I thought maybe today, but he did not answer
My daddy
Through college exams and late-night parties
Past new loves and heartbreak, breakups many
Where were you?
Where are you?
Every night I wished upon the fading stars
You would show up someday, wouldn't be so far
I waited all the time for you
But you were never there
Fell asleep wrapped in tears, fears, tissues, and hurts
Daddy, daddy, I miss you; Daddy, daddy, it hurts
White wedding dresses and butterflies in exchange for flowers
I pasted on a smile; my mother called you every half hour
My brother walked me down the aisle
Everyone gave a puzzled smile
Went on a honeymoon far away, hey
You never had me so you couldn't give me away
In every picture there was someone missing next to me
Now I'm married, but I still don't have my dream
Maybe I should stop seeking
Maybe I should stop hoping
I thought maybe today, but he didn't show up (again)
My daddy
I don't know where you are
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I wrote this on my 14th birthday. It was really late and I was waiting for my father to come. Then, it turned midnight and it was clear he wasn't coming.
My sister made a cake for me and my little brother frosted it in the shape of a butterfly (I love butterflies), but I couldn't make myself eat anything. (My sister was mad that she wasted her time making the cake, but I did eat it the next day.)
I was so devastated. I called my favorite radio station and asked them to play "Just Another Birthday" for me. The DJ said sure and he asked how old I was. When I told him, he said, "Wow, how did you grow up so fast?" So then I pretended he was my dad, calling to say happy birthday.
Then, I stayed up so late, listening to the radio, but he never played the song. And I thought, yeah, that's my father. And I cried myself to sleep.
Every year after that was tear-free, though. I learned not to wait for miracles to happen.