They call it depression
This mood you put me in
They said it could be fixed with medication
They said it was possible for my true self to win

Guess they lied
Intentionally or not
My body remains a casket
A frame void of everything that cannot be bought

My reality is comprised of pain
A tugging, tedious, teasing doom
That makes fatality seems pleasant
It’s a slow churning loom
Spindling this web in which I lay
Curled like a child
Who’s waiting to say
Those things they can’t
Because words can’t explain
The desperateness of living in the sun
But wanting the rain

You are to blame
You are the cause
But you no longer exist
You are nothing but a scar


Were you ever really there?
Or was this flesh born without
A chance to be happy, to care, to love
A chance to find peace, among this mess beings call Earth
Or was it destroyed by the virtue of its birth

It’s rather lonely
To see the world walk by
Never a chance to connect
But also never a chance to explain why
To articulate how you are this way
To find those aching letters, just enough to say
You are no monster, nor fiend
Just a misunderstood human
Looking for a way to be

There seems to be nothing left to say, or do
No love left to give, or goals to ensue
My life is complete
In an empty sense of the word
My only wish is that death would approach soon
That it would carry me away on the wings of a bird
To the world of the infinite, far from this gloom

But they say death is an injustice
And that is why they must keep me alive
If only it could be explained
Why I’ve been waiting so long for it to arrive
More than like a dog waiting for a bone, or a child for a toy
It is only death that can complete me
It is the only chance to find internal joy

So my body waits

My bones shake
My mind cries
And you my absent soul are the reason why

If only you could be summoned
Like they expect me to do
Because apparently if it is asked nice enough
You will find some reason to piece me back together
With your impossibly magical glue

But that is a stretch
Even for me
You’re absence buried me in a pit
And nevermore will I see

But despite you, I have come this far
Like walking the desert for drop of water
It feels like touching the stars
But never can I fully reach
So life has become my leech

And I’m tried
Carrying hands that no longer try
Sorrowful eyes
Feet that drag
Skin that wants to raise a white flag
So I gather these broken parts
Tuck them in, close to my heart
Sleeping in my pathetic eternity
One step away from oblivion

So goodbye, this is my farewell
Do not blame yourself, all will be well
Our parting a condition of my existence
Your death an outcome of chance
We were never meant to survive
We have had our last dance

But I will be waiting here
If you ever want to return
I’ll be the shell
And you the life for which I yearn

So my body waits
My mind cries
There is no escape
This is my life, but I wish it were a lie