every day that she breathes,
takes her closer to you,
and pulls me further away.

every morning when i wake,
the memory floods in,
settling in my mind to stay.

every breath she takes with you,
makes me die a little more each day.

i cradle myself to dreamless sleep,
because there is no comfort in dreams,
and there is no comfort without you;
you left me with nothing to keep
but the broken pieces of pain.

it doesn’t matter that
i have no feelings left
for you-
at least, no positive feelings;
only negative-
a feeling i almost never knew.

when you’re close to someone
and you love them,
it doesn’t matter how over them
you are; or
how much you’ve moved on-
seeing them with someone else will
always hurt…

because of the thought,
“i used to be that girl.”

i’ve come to live only
half alive,
learning to go on through all
deprive;
the fact that my heart is breaking
the only way i know that
it’s still beating.

but i would keep you from
happiness-
if i could.

just to salvage my own
sanity.

but i know it would do
no good.

and so i go on living like this,
my existence swallowed up by hers-
nothing…

i cannot live whole if
you’ve died in my heart;
a part of me had died,
a part of me has been torn apart…

half alive is not living;
death is all that there is
every day that she breathes.