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Why did you have to go?
Every day when I wake I am hit with a wave of uncertainty
It has been almost 4 months without you
I remember the day I found out
Just like any other day I had been in study hall
Nothing to do just playing with my hair while a boy tried to furiously flirt with me
As I tried to politely ignore him I scroll through my phone
I make a stop on Instagram and finally go to Facebook
I have never been a big fan of Facebook but that day for some reason I felt a need to go on
I start to scroll looking for any fun drama from the previous night
Suddenly I stumble upon something unusual
Her timeline had been posted on 13 times to many
First I am curious and feel the need to find out why
As my thumb clicks on her profile
I am hit with a tsunami of shock
“Wake up”
“Answer me, please”
My inside collapse with confusion
My thumb searches for an answer
I can feel my mouth dry out
I stop hearing everyone and everything
I see the boy across from me, and his mouth is moving but my eardrums pushes his kind words out
My mouth starts to lose its moisture
My tongue searches all the crevices for something to grab on
My obvious face of agony was oblivious to the gentleman across from me
As my eyes started to create a miniature waterfall I somehow will the strength to hold it back
My stunned face gets up as I hear the bell ring I walk down the hallway and not my traditional way
I call my best friend with a tone of urgency
As I locate my best friend
The dam breaks that was holding back my waterfall
In front of many strangers, I release a side of me not many people know
As I gasp for air I manage to explain what had happen
Why did you have to leave?
I wish you had stayed.
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I wrote this about my friend who had killed herself. I miss her very much and this helped me cope with it.