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As Night Falls
As the night falls upon my windowpane
Painful thoughts are mine to find
And all the distractions of the day
Fade as memories come to mind
Years of hurt surface once again
Hidden in the daylight with a grin
While tears inside me burn
But I laugh and suppress the pain within
Am I crazy?
Am I wrong?
For who can think straight
When Emotions of despair are so strong?
With time all wounds shall scar
But does the pain ever lessen?
I'm done with being responsible for her life
Of never knowing what will happen, only guessing.
Images of cuts, scars, blood and fear
Bombard and overwhelm my senses
Mental warfare has become the enemy
As they tear and beat down my defenses
My past has broken and jagged ends
And my cuts from them are fresh
Everywhere I look I'm reminded of the past
Of the silver knife digging into toughened flesh
Am I in the wrong?
Should I have stayed?
Night after night I cried myself to sleep
Constantly being afraid
She wanted more from me than I could give
But I did the best I could
Staying clam and keeping cool in times of crisis
Was the only rule I understood
Hiding the truth is easy in public
People provide the reason to pretend
And although some days are easier than others
My life still revolves around what could have been
But the good times help balance the bad
And when I can forget the past for a day
The feeling of being whole and fixed and loved
Is the reason I can still smile when skies are grey.
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