Can’t Get Out of Bed

All of...
My anxieties, fears, and memories are lurking... just waiting for my legs to swing out from under the covers, and for my toes to meet the carpet. Every inch of my body clings to the mattress, and I grip the covers tighter. Today I simply cannot. Flashes of... those long silent strides through the white empty hallways. The drafty air chills my heart. Darkness and bed-ridden patients were among me. He was one of them. For months... his face, his drive, his spirit wilted away like the colors on the petals of a dying rose.. The petals fell from the sturdy stem, and blew away in the wind.
All of...
The prayers, visits, get well cards, and balloons were only temporary. His smile brought joy like a summer shower replenishing the thirsty blades of grass. There is no rain now. No more shortness of breath, coughing, gasping for air, and being connected to 99 IV’s. No more wide open eyes, sweaty palms interrupting sleep. His soul drifted on into the never ending sky like a dozen doves being released into the sun.
All of...
The family. the friends, the strangers walking in slowly, eyes glued to the floor, as if frozen in a pond of ice. Then it was my turn. I could not look down. It was so real yet so unrealistic. My brother held me tight. Struggling for air, drowning in tears, my final goodbyes escaped. How can I face today, with yesterday’s memories still so fresh, so alive, so real. Unwanted.