I think a lot more than I should. But when I’m alone it ends up being the only thing I do. Some many things are soaring through my mind. I don't understand why I have to deal with such grow up things. I know it’s not my fault or is it? I don't quite understand why I’m thinking about my troubles and pain but I just can't seem to dodge them. They follow me everywhere. I know I've found people to help me but I find more comfort not dragging them into my messed up life. I would rather starve the pain away or give myself physical pain. It would feel a whole lot better than feeling the emotional pain. So once again I'm back to the beginning.... I'm thinking again....