At the end of Mystical Animal War I
we hit the enemy leaders
so hard we revived Jesus.

Suddenly we heard
Jo-Why-You Staling?
became dictator of I’m-Rushing
which is never good
we decided to get our group together,
Jesus Christ went to find Bruce Lee
he was in the pits of failed Chinese films
Samuel had to defeat many pathetic
Korean stars,
But he also found us Jackie Chan,
Chuck Norris,
and Jet Li.

I went to find Jason Statham,
Keanu Reeves,
Clint Eastwood,
Sean Connery,
Mel Gibson,
William Shatner,
Leonard Nimoy,
and Sylvester Stalone.
They were trapped in old action movie
prison!
I had to kick me some a-!
I started to fight terrible
present day action actors,
such as the Rock.
But I got some extra help for
kicking his butt,
Liam Neeson,
Russell Crowe,
Christian Bale,
Matt Damon,
and
Daniel Craig,
they all came out of nowhere,
we kicked his butt big time!

We sent Samuel L. Jackson out to get the rest,
which were
Terry Cruise,
Morgan Freeman,
Michael Jackson,
Pre-Pepsi Commercial of course,
Laurence Fishburn,
and
Tay Zonday.
We also strangely found
Hugo Weaving,
wonder what he was doing at KFC?

We went to war two times,
almost three,
we prevented communism from affecting,
South Korea,
and Vietnam.
But we needed to stop
the new I’m-Rushing Dictator,
I-Need-A Crew-And-Chef,
he was planning on destroying,
all fat foods.
I was not okay with that,
I mean look at me!
What we didn’t know was
one of his henchman,
was the ultimate weapon,
Oprah Winfrey!
She tried to bribe us with money,
but we got Paula Dean
to cook for Oprah,
that’s when she got fat.

Now all we had to do was take out
I-Need-A Crew-And-Chef.
We had it all planned out,
our team would go in
with our Apache,
which is a beautiful chopper.
We shot down his
ground to air missile launchers,
he wasn’t gonna take out
any aircrafts after that.
We crashed through his windows,
and I gave him
a roundhouse
straight to the jaw.
It gave him a butt chin
he would always
be made fun of after that.
He attempted to blow us up,
but he forgot we have Jesus,
he ascended to the sky,
taking the explosives with him.

Rest in peace Jesus
and happy resurrection anniversary,
hopefully I don’t kick you to life
again,
to be honest you kept showing off,
and telling us we shouldn’t eat bread,
because you didn’t,
A-hole.