I often wonder why. Why do we like the people we like and why do we love the people we love? I've really never been a 'go with the flow' kind of guy, I've always wanted answers. Perhaps this has to do with me being a teenager; you know, all that pubescence and what not, but still I wonder. There has been one question I've very frequently been attempting to find the answer to; a question that has raddled the deepest regions of my mind and shaken this cage called sanity. Why do I still love her? Why, after so many years, after so many oppurtunities to just let go, I can not? It's these damn emotions! These wretched emotions, won't burn into embers and become ashes! For, they burn and become ghosts! Phantomes and ghouls that haunt my head like a graveyard! But why? What is the reasoning for this? Is my brain telling me that I can not live without her? Why has this cage called sanity broken? This, the cage where I keep the darkest thoughts locked away, so that, not even I am aware of my thinking of them. I find it funny and terrifying at the same time, to tell you the truth. Am I doomed to be alone because I can't accept the fact tat she doesn't love me anymore? What if she gets married? Then what? Will it matter, or will I still try with all my soul to win her back? I've never been able to look at one of my girlfriends and not wanted to get quite intimate with them, except her... And why, I ask! Why is this! Do I respect her too much, or am I in love? Does that even matter? If I am in love could I even win her heart; could she love me as I love her? I heavily doubt this. I look at her pictures and for some reason let loose a small chuckle; maybe even more miniscule than this, more like an ear to ear grin. And why is this! Do you understand? I don't! This is not a prosaic act of joy for me, I know. But that might be the only thing I know.