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I Wish
I wish I could say this to you face to face
I wish I had enough courage to let it all out
But I'm scared of how you might react
All I want is for you to listen to what I have to say
It's what I've been longing to do for a while now
And I've been wondering if I should or shouldn't
But there's a part of me that knows if I don't say this now I will never be free.
When I first found out what you did I was hurt that you could have ever stooped so low. I wondered if you had a problem that you where not willing to show. You were never really all that open with us to begin with. We tried and tried to bring you closer to what we thought was important to you. We've tried to make you feel like you really truly belonged. But we saw a side of you that told us another story and we were not sure if what we were seeing was true. We thought that it was just you being you. But then later on we learnt what was going on in the past. We learnt that you were hiding something from us that you probably thought would last.
We wanted to fix things and make them right. We wanted to keep you around and fight what was wrong. We thought that you would also try and we would all remain strong. But instead you chose the easy way out. You left us behind to struggle and we didn't know how to talk to you about it. You brushed us off in leangths that we could not understand. So we left you alone to deal with the problems that you had.
Everyday I see someone else who has a better relationship than what we used to have. I miss the father I used to know now this one just doesn't feel like the same anymore. I cry every time I see a picture of you lying around the house. Because you looked so miserable and barley smiled and the ones were you did it was before we found out about all the secrets you hid. I honestly wish that I was strong enough to tell you all this. Because I know that when I finally do my heart will be filled with nothing but bliss.
I want to sit down with you and express nothing but the truth and yet I still fear that you will not listen as I am still in my youth.
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