Oh, make me own a snake, rather than swim in the ocean,
Having to feed it live rodents every week;
Make me listen to rap music;
Or watch Hannah Montana;
Pull out the hairs on my arm one by one;
Make me eat pickles dipped in guacamole;
Or break my iPhone in half;
Smash my guitar, pop its strings one at a time;
Make me sleep on a pile of bumpy, sharp rocks;
Or put me in a room with hundreds of angry squirrels;
Make me skydive with holes in my parachute;
Have me write ten thousand haikus;
Or make me ride “It’s a Small World” for hours;
On an ostrich, make me ride for a day and a half;
All these and more I would do in a heartbeat,
Rather than swim in the ocean.